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Sep. 10th, 2012

Fall is here!!

well this month has been pretty fantastic if i do say so myself. I started up a new semester of fall classes and I am truly looking forward to what's in store. The fall weather is FINALLY upon us. Its most definitely a great reprieve from the heat. Besides, who doesn't love the colors and smells of fall?! I can't wait for thanksgiving, pumpkin picking, haunted hay rides, and all the warm apple pie smells! (YUM). I'm also fully prepared to pack on a few pounds for the upcoming months.. I mean, if bears can hibernate, then why can't I right?
I've also FINALLY began driving! Seriously, I know. Ridiculous. You're almost 21 years old.. WELL its about damn time!!
3rd time driving today, and I actually went on the highway. I can't believe it. I'm 100% calmer than I was the first time, and I can't believe it's taken so long to start practicing. I'm really glad though, overall. I'll have a better time getting lower insurance rates and such if im older, and I have a great friend helping me out with it. Its working out for the better all around.

Anyway-- hopefully this semester brings good things! I'm sure it shall.

I went on a cruise recently with the boyfriend --- it was ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. Too bad I got sea sick the entire time ... I wish I knew sooner that, that would happen! I will most definitely bring motion sickness medication on any sea trips in the future. What a waste of money...
Our 2 year anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks! I can't wait! We're going to Boston, to find a nice restaurant to make a reservation at, that has a nice ocean view. I really cannot stop thinking about it. I know it'll be magical. I got a really gorgeous black velvet LBD to wear as well. Hopefully I'll find some nice heels to go with it!
I love this guy so much. It feels like we've been together for much longer than we have.
Though we have our ups and downs, we always seem to work things out for the better and I really appreciate that he gives me all the time, love, and patience in the world. I have no doubt in my mind that this relationship is going to work out for the long-haul. I just have to stop being jealous and silly. Its the distance really, that makes me get all wacky. I do have all the faith and trust in him in the world though --- so its ridiculous that I feel the need to get that way at times.
I find that the busier that I am, the less crazed that I get over silly little things. Thus, why I am absolutely pleased to be back in school. I was getting cabin fever from being stuck at home so much.

well! Its time to catch some Z's. Thanks for sticking with me, and I wish you a wonderful night.

-- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   (and hopefully you catch some of these too.)

Aug. 5th, 2012

Well hello all!

This is going to be a long one... so bare with me. I have so much to tell you.
It seems I have neglected my blog for far, far too long. I have had so many changes this year to deal with - that I have found it quite difficult to keep up wit many different things in my life. Although, I truly would like to get back into blogging. It's a crazy-good release of thoughts and allows me to organize them in a better manner; as I am sure it does for those of you who do the same.

So first things first -- I've moved to my Grandmothers house.
Things are pretty damn good here. Though not always amaze-balls, its a home. I needed that. I'm out of foster care, as I'm sure I've said before. Living with my parents was definitely not something that was healthy for me. Both are re-married, and both also have very bad/poor household situations, in which I could not live a healthy and fulfilling life. Thank goodness I realized that as soon as I did and got out of that situation... WELL back to my Grandmothers house.
It's kinda  a zoo here most of the time. I have my 3 older cousins living here as well, (all over the age of 30) and none of which are married or have children with us. Things can get hectic with them -as they tend to be alcoholics and fight with one another often. At least they HAD been - things have been pretty damn good lately in that aspect.

As far as school goes, I am in my 3rd semester of college, working on a foundations of health degree, as well as becoming a LPN in a year and a half more. (so long as I keep my good grades going). The CNA thing sounded great, and probably still is - but I think that furthering my education while I'm young and able is my best bet. It'll be nice as well, working toward a better licensing that'll give me a few grand more a year and doesn't take up too much time.
I have NEVER maintained a 4.0, or have even set foot near deans list... until now. I could not be happier with the way my college life is going.
My classes are wonderful - very insightful. Sometimes pretty scary to begin with - but what isn't? Its the fear of the unknown. Once I got past that, it was smooth sailing there on out. I find that I'm less of a procrastinator now that I feel that school is a top priority in my life - and something that will eventually pave the way to a rewarding career.
Other than that, my relationship is still a flaming ball of amazingness. I could not love this man more. 2 years in about a month.. my god time flies. It feels like we have been dating forever. I truly hope this is the man im going to marry. I could not possibly see myself with anyone else...
In other news: This summer has just been wonderful. It's been filled with all sorts of new experiences, and things that I am so happy to have tried that I never thought I would.
I went kayaking, have been spending a LOT of time outdoors (hiking), six-flagging, and going out to see concerts and ball games. Its just been a grand ole' time.

Family wise:
    My dad came to live with my Grandmother and I for a little bit.. Got kicked out of my step-moms house due to lies, taking a TON of pain pills, and being irresponsible about work. That was short-lived though, because he began stealing things from everyone in the house.. including my Grandmothers credit card, and checks so that he could get money for the coke, heroin, and opiates that he had been doing which I had no former knowledge of.
Makes me sick.
He moved back in with her - got a job.. did well for a bit. I was pretty hopeful that maybe he would change. Nope. Same shit, different day. He's getting kicked out again as of September 1st. Surprise!!     -- Not.

Other than that loveliness --- I have been ADDICTED to a few things lately. All legal, and all very safe.
I have a deep seeded love for "breaking bad", "the walking dead", and netflix.
I cannot get enough of my playstation.. Its a fabulous device.

I am also overly addicted to facebook. I should really get a grip on it.. though its my main source of communication with family that are not close to me, as well as a place where I catch up on the news (actual news. not peoples' drama), as well as where I get a little bit of gaming on with my friends.

Music -- can't stop listening to the new linkin park album. REALLY wish I was going to the upcoming Incubus/Linkin Park concert with the boyfriend... but ah well.
I went to see the WCCC's big Gig with Godsmack, Staind, and many other awesome bands a few months back. Freaking awesome night..

The boy and I have been looking into planning trips lately! I can't wait. The first we'd like to do, is go see Niagara falls together. I'm positive its going to be an incredible experience.
We have decided that rather than waste money on gifts for christmas that we don't necessarily need -- we'd save the money to go toward planning these get-aways. I'm pleased with this.

I'm pretty happy that I decided to come back on here and spill the beans so-to-speak. It feels good to get all of this information off my chest.
Hope you all are enjoying your summer! Hope to catch up with everyone soon.  I'm looking forward to making more entries (hopefully.. you know how forgetful /busy I can be. We all get there).

Time to watch my show and get some shuddeye! Its been a very long weekend. I went out with my guy yesterday to a Red Sox game at Fenway park and didn't get home until 1 - and proceeded to cook for him and pass out. Didn't get to bed until around 2:30... yuck. The day was so humid and hot.... I definitely was ready to just hit the sheets.
Today we got up early to start a new day of adventure together. Have I ever told you guys how wonderful I feel when I wake up with his arms wrapped around me, or with his head on my chest? My lord. Best thing ever. I never want moments like that to end..
Anyway - we got off our lazy bums and proceeded to head off to the New England air show. Always a good time there. It was his first experience with it - and we are definitely making this a yearly recurring thing. Its awesome. Though next time -- I MUST UTILIZE THE SUNSCREEN!!!

Time to watch my show :-)
Goodnight all! Thanks for listening, and  for anyone who may be a new reader -- my life is pretty crazy as im sure you've read. This is my outlet. If you do not like what you read, please feel free to click elsewhere to a blog that would be more suitable to your liking. If you do, then welcome! Feel free to share your thoughts with me as well.

(end rant).

Aug. 26th, 2011

(no subject)

so this summer has been EXTREMELY busy to say the least. My god did it fly by...
i graduated from high school, im on my way to college to take CNA courses;
I spent quite a bit more time with my wonderful boyfriend now than ever and im pleased to say that next month, we will be one year along into our relationship. This by far has been the best relationship ever. I couldn't ask for someone more understanding, kind, and respectful. He's always there for me whenever i need him. Thank God I found someone who likes all of the same things that i do!
we rarely fight, and if we do, we always fix it. I can't go to bed angry.. it just doesn't work out.

I'm looking to move to connecticut at some point in the next two years also. Can't wait for that move.. its been too crazy where I live now, and we have FAR too many people in my house. My grams would house every single homeless person if it meant making them smile.

She's the most giving person i have ever met and i sometimes wish that she'd see that people use her.. she'd give away every penny she has to her family. Its kinda sad really.. I love her to pieces. I dont want to see her end up in a bad situation because of it.
I wish people would just realize that they need to grow up at some point in their life and not live off of other family members because they can't get themselves up off their asses to get a job. Please.

anyhow, im going to be boarding a train today for.. hmm.. my fourth time this summer? AND I LOVE TRAINS! < Did i just say that? Yep. I love them.
I dont understand at all why i was so nervous to try one. Too much tv i guess :-p They are so much cheaper than riding a bus.. can't convey that enough. And so much more comfortable with a variety of options; from a cafe on board the train, to a quiet car, wi-fi, and even showers. AWESOME.

I wish i didn't have to leave though.. its almost the weekend and im really not looking forward to working at 8am both saturday and sunday when this hurricane is coming through.. it'd be nice if my boss would cancel like every other place is.

welp! just needed to throw some of that out there. Baby face should be coming home soon so im gonna scram.

tata for now!

Apr. 3rd, 2011

What would you ask if you had just one question?

Today has made me think a lot... well... these past few months have. I've had the chance to see that there are people who belong in my life, and some that are just better off not being in it at all. I've been reflecting on the past several years and reminding myself of why I keep fighting to move forward and do the best that I can to succeed. I can't help but feel so overwhelmed though... theres just so much going on and with each day that passes, I am growing closer and closer to graduating. I'm so excited.. I can't convey that enough to you. Although I've spent most of my school days complaining about how much I hate it and whatnot... I really shouldn't have. i realize that now. Its been preparing me to get used to working; waking up everyday and having to labor over small things; and juggle my home life as well. 
I'm getting ready for college this summer. Lets hope that It isn't too stressful and that it is as fulfilling as I'd like it to be. As I hope it will be.

I've been with Doug for almost 7 months now... and truthfully, I have never been happier with someone in my entire life. I can honestly say that he truly is the perfect man for me. He's everything that i've ever wanted and more. I look forward to every weekend we spend together, and cherish every single minute. I count down the days that we're apart until I get to see him again. Never have I done that with anyone... he's so fantastic. He treats me exactly the way that I need; and he makes me feel so good about myself. I don't know how I would have gotten past this entire year without him. He's helped me though so much; whether he realizes that or not. He's just all around wonderful.

I never thought I could feel so much love toward someone... but every single day, I find myself loving him more and more.

In august I have a friends' wedding coming up which I'm truly looking forward to. I really wish she would wait at least a few more years before getting hitched, but who am I to judge?  I wish her all the happiness in the world and I hope her relationship lasts a lifetime.
  Ah.. I'm just sitting here thinking... i keep reminding myself of how wonderful this summer is going to be. Being with the one I love...
I've never had such a stable relationship In my life. How could someone just ... one day, walk into my life; not only as a friend, but now as a lover and be so... perfect..
I just keep dreaming over and over that he could really be the one... I've told myself this for so long...
For some reason, ever since i'd met him... I just had that feeling. He gave me this feeling of completeness. I felt so whole and I finally had the chance to be myself. My God it feels so good to be myself and not hide who I am. I'm so thankful for having him in my life.
I know i know, im sorry for rambling about him..... but I'm sure you know what I mean. When you find that one person that you've been dreaming of... that person that just makes you so happy...
its such a wonderful feeling. I feel such bliss when I'm with him. All bad thoughts; worry... everything that is on my mind just fades away.
I'm just so happy. I really love him. I truly do.

Jan. 9th, 2011

Writer's Block: Workin' for a livin'

What would you consider the worst job in the world, and why?

haha watch dirty jobs.. its so hard to just choose one that's awful.. there's just so many to choose from.

(no subject)

It's been such a wonderful new year so far. My senior year is coming to a close, and I'm a little anxious to get finals over and done with. I can't wait to get started with my college career. So far, I'm getting back into drawing, and am taking a night class to further inspire me to create. It's a wonderful oil painting course where you self teach and I'm so excited to get a new medium going. I'm all too used to using charcoal and pencil.

Doug left not too long ago, and I miss him to bits already! Our relationship has truly been blossoming into something utterly beautiful. I have never been so happy to be with someone in my life.
He always finds a way to make me smile and I actually have a reason for getting up in a good mood every morning now. Its great :)
I love how since we have started dating, we send each other emails every morning and I always manage to get a smile on my face.
almost 4 months now.. wow.. time flies.
School has kept me extremely busy and I regret not being able to post more often. I had every intention to.
I feel like I have been wasting so much time just sitting on the computer all the time.. I really need to get off of the social networking sites and get out and about a little. I seem to find it hard to hand out with friends lately because I get so occupied in all of my school work. Maybe not so marvelous... but i'm fighting to keep up the good grades this year. I'm sick and tired of settling for the minimal.

exercise... that word has been popping into my head since winter started!!!!!
I loathe how every time winter is here, I go into hibernation mode. definitely no fun :/
Depression seems to hit me more often during this time too, and from what I can remember in my psych class, It's seasonal depression.
For sure, I have to agree with that.


Wow i feel like there's so much I have to say, but I'm almost at a loss for words right now. I'll have to catch up with this later.

Nov. 2nd, 2010

(no subject)

So I havent had much of a chance to post lately because i've been so swamped with projects and school/ life!!!
 Doug and I have been dating for a month now, and I couldn't be happier. Life is going GREAT!

  I'll be sure to try to leave a post tonight!

Oct. 5th, 2010

(no subject)

blah... i feel so overwhelmed lately...
I just want to get a 2nd job, get good grades, and be calm. None of which will happen... maybe one at a time at least.

I love my boyfriend/best friend dearly, and hes basically the only thing keeping me happy. Hes been that way all along.

I need to find some way to make myself happy or at least try so that i don't feel so down and out anymore.


Here i am, typing from the inside of my aunts truck.. just so i can get away. I can't sleep.. and when i do, its not enough.
Im so overly stressed about everything, that its not even funny.
My grandmothers health seems to be deteriorating and i REALLY don't know what i'd do if i lost her.


  -- what now? =/

Sep. 27th, 2010

(no subject)

So i can honestly say that things are truly looking up for me.

I had the most AMAZING weekend with Douglas and we truly enjoy each others company. I got a million things done today that i've needed to get done for the longest time, but did not have the time, nor the patience to deal with it at the moment.
Doug and i actually started dating yesterday. I couldn't be happier! :-)
when someone tells you that dating a friend is the best choice you could make, they are SO right!!!!

School is going great, and i'll be starting night classes on Wednesdays in October.

Finally also got a job too! I'm an Avon representative!
I'll be making a website soon to sell it on :-)

Life is good.

Sep. 10th, 2010

Writer's Block: A show for all seasons

Which returning TV show are you most excited to see again? Which shows from last season are you going to miss? Are there any new shows that look promising?

I REALLY need time to watch more tru blood and smallville :/

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